Various Older Poems

hah. These are some poems from year(s) passed...some (or all, haha) may be rather juvenile and idiotic, but hey. I'll just include them :)
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Airplane

Flying high up in the air
Tufts of white down below
window feels so cold
the sky gets whiter into
the distance
it's all blue below...
it's smooth sailing...
from now on.
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Just Breathe

Just breathe
the end is only the beginning.
no one else would understand.
there is no other option.
there is no other escape.
i can feel the breath seeking its way out.
it will be the longest
second of my life.
there it goes.
and here i go...
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The pain pangs the pulse of my pitter-pattering heart.
there is a terrible twinge in my heart
that makes me 'magine
what material may have made my heart.

(try not to LOL so much at that last one, :P)
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I'm living a painful lie
that affects all my dealings
I'm wanting to know
why
I have all these feelings
the lie is wanting to
know and like you more
the reason for this is you
which makes my heart so sore.
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My heart craves to know
your thoughts
I want to know how you feel.
do you feel for me...
as much as i feel for you?
there is no reason why you would.
my avarice of wanting
all your love
still makes me write this song
but my greed blinds my heart
i can't see the truth that
i once saw behind your eyes.
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Soon, One Day

I want to cry
myself to sleep
every single night
until i know for sure
that i'm holding you ever so tight.
your place is in my
embrace; that's where
you belong. until you
hear my thoughts,
my words,
even my every song.
even when you've heard
them from my one-man
band, I'll never leave
your side, you'll never
leave my hand.
you've set my heart a'
fire; set my love a'
flame
I wouldn't be writing
this for you if i knew you
felt the same.
The clock will keep a'
turnin'
while my love will
keep a' burnin'
for the hope of calling you my own,
soon, one day.
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I am scared to meet you
I'm scared to know
your name
because that means I'd
lose you much sooner
than if...
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Clear Mask

Why do i make the wrong choices
instead of the right
why do i briskly talk thru it
instead of just fight
why can't i hide away
forever
from this hurting
human race
why keep sprinting thru life
i wanna go at my own pace
why do i hide behind a mask
that is so clear
when people can look thru it
and see my shed tear?
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(This is a children's poem :P)

A morsel in a mitten
may be easy to eat
unless the mitten's large
then it's a great feat

but if the morsel's tiny
and as small as it can be
then it is just big enough
for one person-- me!
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Pink Paper Parasol

I wish that i
could just hide
from all the trouble
all the bad things
in this world

I wish that i
could feel your
warmth around me
feel your arms surround me
as if i'm wanted.

someday i'll hide away
from all of these mixed feelings
i'll find a safe place
for me to live
i'll shield myself from you
and your idiotic image
with a pink paper parasol.

hope is what fills
this lonely being
hope that brings
me closer to living without you
if only I could find...

A pink paper parasol
to hide me
to shield me
and to keep out all the hurt
in this world.
if only i could find...
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Gritting My Teeth

Gritting my teeth
while letting go
letting go of you
and what i thought i knew

losing the present
grappling onto the past
wishing i had things
things that don't last

turning back the clock
to a time gone by
when i thought about you
as the minutes would fly.

A figment of imagination
a thought stuck in my brain
let the motions all cry out
in a big, uplifting rain

you have been forgotten,
it's something i just had to do
i've found someone just like me,
and a heck of a lot better for me
than you.

Gritting my teeth in anticipation
while feelings well up inside me
he's unlocked my heart,
and thrown away the key.
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(Try not to laugh so hard at this one, either :P)

Bubbling within me
like water gone a-boil
is a feeling of compassion
that's combined with some 'loyal'

it begins with an 'L'
and ends with an 'E'
its meaning is that simple
it's not you or me, but we

the hardships you faced
the tough times i passed
without those things, we could not have
a relationship that could last.
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This Song

This song
is not worth 2 cents
This song
is not that fantastic
This song
is not made well
This song
reflects my mood
This song...
is worth more than
you.
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Cry in the Secret

Cry in the secret
weep in the dark
sob in the desolate
grieve in the stark

mourn in the quiet
bleat in the silent
lament in the noiseless
bawl with the violent

the violent who crush
our hopes, not fears
the violent who raise
our dark eyes to tears

raise me from the peril
raise me from the stone
raise me near everyone
I'm oh, so alone.
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Spacing Out

Spacing out...
picturing clouds and trees
wondering about
the near future
remembering
my beautiful past
thinking about
my present: it's you.
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You picked me up
whenever I fell
you carried me
when i was broken
you held me close
when i felt alone
you wiped my tears away
when i cried
the times you weren't here,
i could have died...
so...
Go strum on your 6-stringed box
and play a happy tune
one of love, hate, despair, grief,
or sailing to the moon
you could sing it to me softly,
or strum it hardcore
strum it with your fingers
till they are calloused and sore.
so sing a happy tune
so that i don't feel this pain
if i lived without you now,
life would not be the same.

but now that you're not here by my side
i see you're a thought stuck in my brain
a figment of imagination
when i've lost all hope within my soul,
being with you again makes me whole.
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You've broken me once before
it hurt then, but less now
the dagger which you thrust into my loving soul
cut a heart-shaped hole
you seem so wrong for me--
a bird and a fish
but somehow, my heart still sees your face,
hears your voice,
imagines what 'together' would be like
but who knows if you feel the same
i've grown so black and white
since your color left my life.
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I wanna be loved
have an arm around my shoulder
wrap ourselves around each other in an embrace
hold your hands
steal a kiss.
i wanna be loved.
so why won't you love me?
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Dreams

Dreams
surreal events take life
fantastic things made tangible
you are here with me
loving me, like I, you.
and i wake up.
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Your number plastered on my door
I remember your face
your name on a painting
i remember your voice
the place you once walked
i remember your smell
the night we went out
i remember your laugh
the weeks after
i remember your compliments
the few months following
i remember the last times for everything
the day you left
i remember the memories
the day i didn't think of you
i remember nothing at all.
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I feel as if i've forgotten you
i've been focusing on my life now
your face changes my whole perspective
once again
i once felt lost and alone
as if no one noticed or cared for me
who could i love?
but i looked at your face,
and it changed my whole perspective
once again.
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You

Everything is reminding
me of you
everytime i think of
something happy,
i think of you
when i feel alone and uncared for,
i feel renewed when i look at you.
you know? I think
I love you.

(ohhhh good glory pete in matilda's kitchen..)
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It's Amazing

It's amazing
i feel as free as a drifting cloud
it's amazing
i feel as happy as a child on Christmas Day
it's amazing
i feel nothing left from you in my heart
it's amazing
i feel like i should have done this long ago
it's amazing
how letting you go has me me so
happy.
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-Vintage Nomad